Exodus Within

Referencing Exodus

When the Lord promised Israel He would bring them out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, Israel had to trust God as the One who would rescue them (6:6-8). But, they did not heed Moses then because of the anguish of spirit and cruel bondage (6:9). Still, the Lord began to perform signs and wonders, gradually distinguishing them and the Egyptian perpetrators (7-12). Israel did as the Lord commanded Moses and Aaron (12:50), indicating their progress in heeding God's words.

As the Egyptians pursued them, they became fearful and cried out (14:1-10). To them, being back in bondage was better than dying in the wilderness (14:12-13). Moses encouraged them to not be afraid, and the Lord would fight for them (14:13-14). The Lord's response to Moses was interesting: “Why do you cry to me? Tell Israel to go forward... lift your rod, stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it.” (14:15-16). Previously, when they cried out, they were called to heed and trust. Now, the Lord pointed them to walk forward, and for Moses to use what he had in his hand.

Sometime later, Israel had their first battle with Amalek (17:8-10). As Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed (17:11). But it became too heavy, and others needed to support him such that his hands remained steady till Amalek was defeated (17:11-13). Moses had a pattern of taking on many matters solo which may have stemmed from his early life experiences - feeling displaced as Hebrew child raised in an Egyptian household (2:1-10), being rejected by his own people when he acted in their defense (2:11-15), and spending forty years in a self-imposed exile, holding a deeply solitary job as a shepherd in Midian (3:1; Acts 7:29-32). Even at the burning bush, when called by God, Moses hesitated as he felt deeply insecure about his ability to speak and be accepted (4:1-13). Those moments may have shaped his internal narrative that the world was not safe, he was not accepted, it was safer to rely on himself, and this reliance was laced with a persistent sense of inadequacy: “When I try to help, I get it wrong. I am rejected and all alone. If I am going to do this, I have to do it on my own strength, and even so, I am not enough.” It was only after his father-in-law spoke up that Moses allowed others to bear the burden with him (17:22). 

I read these as chapters of one story - the story of how God brought Israel out of bondage into freedom. With their anguish of spirit and cruel bondage, it was understandable that they could not heed Moses's words. God did not need anything from them at that time but to simply watch Him do His work to rescue them. Gradually, as they saw the Lord's work and grew some confidence in Him, even with the fear they faced from their old enemy, the Lord invited them to partner and use what He had already given for them to move towards freedom. When Moses felt weak and tired, others needed to come in to support him so that he could continue fulfilling his responsibility. God will not replace someone else to do what he was meant to do, but He will allow others to support. Allowing their support freed him to focus his efforts on matters only he could do. The past patterns of isolation and uncertainty broke and transformed him to be one that could hold others as he was held.

I have been holding these stories to heart because they closely reflect my recent journey. There are moments when the anguish of spirit and cruel bondage fogged my vision of God. I felt so worn and unable to move forward, overwhelmed by the weight of pain that made hope feel so out of reach. Sometimes, the unknowns of change and healing feel terrifying because I am walking through this dark valley without light in sight. Though the road is full of promise because of what it is leading to, it feels like death: death of control, death of what feels “safe.” I may not necessarily want to be back in bondage like Israel, but the anguish desperately cries for an end to this walk.

I have experienced how God does not demand immediate strength or perfection. He meets me where I am, with my honest cries, and starts to show Himself faithful. As I begin to see His hand at work, I realise He is also inviting me to participate and lift what is already in my hand. This looks like holding the lamp of His word when I recall the verses that live rent-free in my head that point to who He is, or simply choosing to stay and make space for Him to speak. He does not invite me because I feel more ready, but because He has always been.

I have also been brought to a point where I have to admit how worn I am. I know the need to let others come alongside and bear burdens with me. But, even now, I still find this very hard because I, like Moses, have been used to doing things solo which stems from similar internal narratives. I recognise this kind of solo strength has limits. Like what one of my friends said, “allowing support does not mean weakness but maturity.” It does not mean I lose responsibility for what I am meant to carry, but others can come alongside in ways I cannot for myself, so I have the space and strength to take other small essential steps. I hope to allow God and others who are safe to hold me up so I can experience true safety, relational healing and become restored to the worshipper He has created me to be.

I do not see trusting God, using what He has already placed in my hands, and allowing others in as separate steps. They are all part of the same battle and story towards freedom. One does not cancel out the other. Trust does not mean I stop moving. Moving does not mean I stop trusting. Community does not mean I am weak. I learn to walk out freedom the way God intended: in trust, with what I have, and shared strength.

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