From The Wholesome Moments

My dinner meeting yesterday was filled with really wholesome revelations. Though it was just the both of us in that 1 space, it felt like God was facilitating and guiding our conversations. As it is something I have not experienced for some time, and I am scared of being forgetful, I'll section my thoughts in this one post today...

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1. Navigating Individuation With Biblical Sense

You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-42)

Individuation is a concept I have been obsessed with. It came from a place where I realised I was so tired of being treated like a child. I realised how insecure I was when it came to identity and making decisions. I did not trust my thought process or voice. In a bid to search for a solution to this sickening problem, I stumbled on the concept of Individuation.

I became a firm believer of this concept and desire to become my own person, grow up and be treated like an adult, even if others don't necessarily treat me this way.

This belief was shaken when the above verses were brought up. To me, the verses essentially is saying, even if you feel the legitimate need to slap the person back or take your tunic back, don't fight. Fulfil the ridiculous demands of that Roman officer and walk an extra mile. Give, even if you don't feel you have to.

So, do I fight to individuate, or no? Where is the limit? I have no concrete conclusion at this point of writing. 

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2. Who Do You Think You Are? (PS: Thank you Max Lucado lol)

...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus... (Romans 3:23-24)

When I was younger, I used to place people whom I've held in high regard on a pedestal. If they had the Reverend, Pastor, Cell Group Leader, Worship Leader title, I would think that they are damn holy people. If they held a godly leadership title, they should have conquered / be actively conquering their own sins. 

This mindset came from church cultures I experienced. People would draw a line in a leader-member dynamics. The member tends to think that their leader have a stronger walk with God because they seem to have it altogether. It doesn't help when leaders don't share their weaknesses if their sole fear is stumbling their sheep. So, when the leader struggles, stumble, and / or fall, we think, "wah, leader also can ar?" When a member falls into the same pit, we think "yeah, it's natural. This person is just a member..."

This mindset was later shattered when I experienced the human weaknesses of leaders. It left me shell-shocked and disappointed.

More often than not, I forget that leaders are mere people like everyone else. I think that there are different levels of holiness, and the scale is from Joy to Jesus. But, all have sinned. When God looks down from his high vantage point, He sees everyone the same - sinners in need for Him to save.

Hence, we should not be surprised if anyone in leadership struggles, stumbles and / or fall. Instead, we treat them like our brothers and sisters-in-Christ, fallible. Leaders should not fear stumbling their sheep to hold their goody Christian image, but be simply be real as the Spirit leads. I have found that the moments I had courage to be the most vulnerable with a leader came because they were open to share first.

We are simply like each other - sinners in need of Jesus. This should be the message we are sending across.

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3. On Being Real

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

There are multiple days when I find myself in turmoil, struggling to obey and honour God in what I say and do. From my heart's perspective, I cannot see God in a lot of what I had and am presently going through. I struggle to reconcile certain verses in the bible. As much as possible, even though I hate showing this side of me, I try my best not to hide that I am struggling with this Christian walk when someone asks me about it.

When I read some stories in the Old Testament, I find it lacking emotion. Think Abraham. When God told Him to sacrifice his son, he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. The account presented the information; not the emotions.

So Abraham felt nothing? He was totally cool with slaying his son? Unless he was an emotionless father, I would imagine that he was struggling within, maybe even to the point of anguish. Crying, perhaps?

While I don't discount the fact that some may feel faith filled and unfazed when they go through tribulations, most won't feel that way. And it's the most who owe this authenticity, not paint a picture to show others that life is great regardless if they are not feeling that way. Not to merely pride in sharing the faith filled moments, but the valley / anguish / struggle that comes along with faith.

Because people will walk away thinking that life becomes bed of roses when you become a Christian, when, in fact, you will, and are struggling, but choose not to reveal just to keep your godly, inspiring impression to others.

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4. He Would Eat With Me

Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance. (Matthew 9:10-13)

I don't understand why Jesus will want to associate Himself with me and be involved in my life. If I were Him, I won't want to have anything to do with myself because I am too broken, sinful and difficult to be around with.

The story of Jesus eating with the tax collectors came to mind. They were outcasts, shunned and hated by people because they worked for the oppressive Roman government. They were dishonest and collected more money than they should to pocket for themselves. In spite of the public's negative opinion and knowing the sins those tax collectors committed, Jesus remained present, spending time and eating with them.

The same God who ate with them is the same God who will eat with me and call me to repentance time and time again. He called me to the Great Banquet, and sees to it that I eat with Him at the wedding supper of the Lamb.

Sometimes, I wonder if His patience will run dry and He will just thank you, next me, moving on to another person who is more worthy of His time. I won't stick around for me, but He is still doing so, which attests of His gracious and kind character.

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The culture of this world is vastly different from His Kingdom's. Perhaps, we have allowed it to seep into our lives or churches. But, Jesus has called us to be in and not of the world, not to conform to the thought patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...