Among That 5000

Recently, I have been dealing with transactional and [in my perception] unreasonable people. I feel truckloads of stress about it because I have been trying my best with the demands placed upon me, but all I received was unbelief in my what I did for them.

On a good note, these experiences are teaching me to make a conscientious effort not to place my emotions, but to simply work. There are days I wished Jesus will take me home. When I realised the need to force myself out of my bed, or was having recurring thoughts of throwing in the towel, I knew something was dead wrong inside.

Today (like finally lol), in desperation, I turned to Jesus and asked if He has ever dealt with people like that. My mind was brought back to remembrance on the scene where Jesus fed the crowd of 5000. They were an unbelieving, transactional people who followed Him for what He could give. And, even after seeing the great miracle, they asked for more signs. How unreasonable!

He understood what was in the hearts of men. Yet, He fed them and had compassion toward them. He died albeit their unbelief in Him as their Messiah and drew them to Himself. He loved to the end. I hope I won’t throw them rotten loaves and fishes (in their opinion), and I do not want to walk away from them.

As I pictured the scene in my mind, I saw myself sitting among the 5000. It was as though He is saying, “that’s you. You are -the crowd-” It was like a knife cutting through my heart. Yes, I may think they stink. But, in actual fact, I stink as well. I felt convicted and drawn to repentance. Helpless at first, but later strengthened and comforted. Jesus has done this for me, and because I am in Him, I can do likewise...