​ When You Cannot Love Anymore


Over the years of preparing for some sharing on different biblical topics, I have found that God always likes to test me in that particular area first before I share. Somehow, I will come to realize that I cannot match up to the standard. I can never boast that I have arrived; I can only say that I am still journeying to be better. As I share to people, I often feel the most benefited as it seemed that God is sharing through me, to me instead.

Recently, the recurring theme God has been bringing me through is on loving others. I am able to love and term them as friends when they are very easy going and accepting. However, I hesitate to associate myself with those who possess my pet peeves or has an / some / many annoying trait/s. They are just not like me. God has been challenging me to love such people and call them my friends.

I was extremely tempted to burn those bridges. I did not feel like fighting to keep those friendships. I thought I had a big heart. I thought I had the capacity to love everyone.

I found God breaking my pride to the ground. I have to acknowledge that I am not as good as I think I am. My recent prayers to God were in these words, "Father, my love is indeed not perfect. I cannot love XXX, XXX, XXX... Will you teach me how to love them?"

Guess what God said?

God brought me back to the very words I prepared for a sharing on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is defined by what it does, and what it does not do. Love isn't just a strong feeling - it is more than just emotions; it is about actions - what we give. It is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.

Love is a decision and a promise. It is something we choose to do again and again until we no longer have to choose, and this becomes part of our character.

Just a few days back, He brought to remembrance a sharing on John 21:1-17:

Jesus was saying to Peter: “If you love me selflessly, care for the ones that I love. Love them in the same way I have loved you.

Since love is God's highest priority, our highest priority should also be about loving God and others.

Why do we desire and pray to become more like Jesus? In this prayer lies the fact that we are indeed not like Him. We have imperfections and fall short of His standard. Yet, even when we are not like Him, He loved and died for us, and even calls us His friends. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).

Jesus is the embodiment of perfect love. He made, and is still making this commitment to love us. Knowing how His love feels like, even if I don't feel like loving someone, I will still make a decision to love. God does not require me to love perfectly; He requires me to love to the best of my ability - to make a conscious choice to love whenever I can, even when it is hard. His love has never given up on me, so I will do likewise for everyone - especially to those in the family of faith.

It is not be exactly the easiest thing to do haha (nervous laughter). It is hard to "die". It is hard to love imperfections unconditionally. But I know when I "die", my life will bear much fruit. I can love because my elder Brother loves me perfectly.

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