I was just taking some time to reflect on how I actually thought about myself. Given the way I normally react on the inside of me when people tell me things like, “You can do it. We believe in you,” that kind of conversations lead me to doubt my ability and capacity. I find that I am a person who is not confident of myself. I always ask myself, “Am I that great for people to believe in me?” Subconsciously, occasionally that would be the way I react when God calls me.
It was not that I didn’t believe God could use me. It was not that I didn’t want to obey the Call. It was just that I was just too doubtful of myself. But it was also through these times when I question my ability that will lead God to correct and teach me, “Joy, the moments when you are fearful of the things that I have called you to do, these are the same moments you are maximizing your weaknesses and minimizing the grace which I could let you rely upon. People may believe in your potential, but some of them are not even aware: they believe in you because they are looking at Me in you!”
A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord— and he will delight in the fear of the Lord. He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.For those who think they are not wise, knowledgeable or eloquent enough to do what God wants you to do, God says that when you ask for anything in His name, according to His will, you will receive (John 16:24). God is going to equip you with supernatural boldness and faith to enable you to not fear and doubt in your potential. He is going to give you an understanding of His reality that He wants to use you for greater works.“The devil knows how much you want to serve Him, but he knows your weakness, and most of the time he will lie and lead you to doubt in your own capacity. But know who I am!” says the Lord. “Lift up your faith and believe!”
Isaiah 11:1-4 (NIV)
Those who do wickedly against the covenant he shall corrupt with flattery; but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.
Daniel 11:32 (NKJV)
But if it is of God, you will not be able to stop or overthrow or destroy them; you might even be found fighting against God!
Acts 5:39 (AMP)
“I will pour out a spirit of fearlessness and boldness upon My people. They will stand strong and do the works I have commissioned them to do, for they will have an understanding that I have opened a door that no one can shut. Their works no one shall be able to overthrow – not even the devil. So take heart child. Do not fear and stand strong!”
Friend, you who are reading this now, I don’t know if you had the same occurrences as I had, but just like how God encourages me, I too want to encourage you with this, “God believes in you, and He wants to use you.” All you need to do is this, “Be open and let God work in, through and with you.” Let this be your checklist for identifiable moments when you doubt in yourself. Hope that as you read this it will challenge you run for what He has called you at all costs! :)