Understanding Social Complexity: Meritocracy

Understanding Social Complexity: XX is a two-part series of reflections to document my learnings of a core curriculum module I am currently undertaking at university. What has been taught thus far, triggered more questions within as I have to navigate various schools of thought and think about where I stand presently in all of these. My hope is to be transformed in the renewing of my mind as I reflect on the complexities with mindfulness from the Christian standpoint.

Singapore practices meritocracy in our education system. Everyone is given a fair opportunity to receive rewards for their hard work. While there are good aspects to this system, it has bred competitiveness where everyone wants to be better than the other. It becomes a system that seems fair in principle but not in practice since inequality is still present.

Coming out of school into the workforce, the grind does not stop. Most people, especially the young, are constantly in the rat race to become superordinate and climb to the top. In a bid to show merit constantly, the fear of failing and doing something wrong becomes prevalent. We become stuck in the epidemic of perfectionism, facing real pressures to follow the herd mentality just so we don't FOMO.

I realised how entrenched I have been in this epidemic of perfectionism. Through work, I was given a sense of meaning and usefulness. I feel in control of my life as long as I do not screw up. My hard work has gotten me so far in life, so why can't I take credit for my achievements? As someone who is trying to be a little more Christian, I know that whatever I have received thus far in life - my being, opportunities, talents, etc. - comes from God.

I cannot boast about myself. I cannot fully be in control. I can only give glory for whatever I have received back to God who has given them to me first. This is very counter-worldly. Then again, if I truly attribute the rewards I have to be God-given, the most common response I will give, and also have heard from friends is the "no lah, all glory to God" statement. Therein lies the feeling where I cannot feel happy about the rewards I have received. I fear being happy because I may start to attribute glory back to myself. Why can't I feel truly happy for the rewards while attributing glory to Him?

[As a placeholder thought] One of the frameworks I have in my mind is the distinction of talent vs effort. I thank God and truly feel happy for the talents he has given to me. Without Him, I know I would not be able to gain opportunities, let alone function to work so that I can receive rewards. On the other hand, I want to truly feel happy that I have put in effort on my part to work hard. Effort translates to excellence, which ultimately brings glory back to God...

Simultaneously, I face the struggle to feel successful. In our meritocratic one-size-fits-all system, there is a focus on academic merit to indicate success. Those who don't succeed feel like failures. Everyone starts chasing for grades that are no less than a B+. Do they get there by means of true understanding or not, I cannot say the same for all. But that is not the point. It is just about getting a better honours class on paper to clinch better jobs with better-starting remuneration.

When will the chase of success ever end? Isn't it futile since there is always going to be a next bar I know I will never be able to reach?

Pondering about Jesus, I realised how He is perfect but remained unconcerned about looking successful in the eyes of this world. He had to be a baby, live a humble carpenter's life for 30 years, have a short-lived ministry for 3 years, and die a gruesome death on that damned cross. He looked like a foolish king, but He is considered successful in God's eyes because He knew who He was getting approval from.

To no longer feel the struggle is to give up societal-defined success. I do not need perfectionism to feel safe and worthy enough. Most importantly, I have to be mindful about who I am getting my approval from.

Please haalp...