God is my refuge even when I am in doubt
Sometimes we do ask God these questions:
Where are you when we are being persecuted?
Where are you when my family is facing problems?
Why am I unable to sense your presence?
Why were you not with me when I needed you?
I can say that I sometimes do question God like this. I do really long for His presence to be with me in times of trouble. Sometimes when the reply does not come back I may start feeling frustrated. Most of the time I am conscious that it may be the test of faith, although I know that I should not doubt His presence.
Sometimes when I doubted I do really feel apologetic towards God. Through the bible I knew that His presence was with me. Why did I doubt?
Every time when I try to stop myself from doubting, this verse always reminds me not to doubt and it gives me strength:
‘The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you’
Even if the bible was not with me, I knew that He will be my refuge. It is like God speaking to my ear, ‘Do not worry, my child. I shall be with you till then end. It shall be everlasting and forever blissful.’
I thank God for letting me know Him, actively pursue me even when I drifted away in the past. I am glad that I can find my source of strength, which will never forsake me, the refuge I shall find in times of trials and enjoyment. And it is the Lord Himself, who reigns forever!